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Starting my profile up again

Posted on 2012.08.19 at 12:51
It's been a few years and I'm ready.

Callous.

Posted on 2009.07.12 at 02:50
Current Mood: weirdweird

My body knows.

The skin on my fingers and feet grow hard.

Callous.

My elbows and knees.

Sensitive gone solid.

Everything else doesn’t know as better.

Insides, soft and wet.

Like a load of laundry in a broken washer.

Flipping.

Over and over.

Never getting clean.

Just repeating cycles.

 

Finally exhausted.

It breaks.

Pushes.

Heaves.

Spilling out intimacy.

Onto a cold concrete floor.


everyone knows.

Posted on 2008.10.14 at 17:39
I understand there has to be a balance.
Humans can feel so happy, so they can also feel sad.

I just want to know why humans have such a huge capacity for emotional pain, never mind the psychical.
I mean maybe we have no idea what we are feeling.
Maybe there's pain way beyond anything we know.
But I know one thing.
Sadness falls upon us all.
Whether we show it or not.
Little things can hurt just as much as the big.
It envelops us, and crawls deep into our being.
Feeding on our humanity.

It could be a comment made by a peer.
Something rude and ignorant.
To ruin your day.

It could be anything, and even if we do have guards up.
We know somewhere deep inside of us, it still stings.

Sometimes it gets so bad that we forget if there is even happiness.
But there is.
everything is temporary.
a happy feeling
or a sad.
Time pushes our emotions and twists and turns them into something new.
We always move on.
Humans were made to move on.
Brave the present and hope for the future.
Forget the past.
Remember happiness exists no matter how lost you get.
I am hoping for all of us.



blank.

Posted on 2008.10.07 at 16:57
big
blank
scary
space.






what do I do?


This is it.

Posted on 2008.09.22 at 17:38
I am done apologizing for things i've done over a year ago.
I am finally a different person, one I like and am proud of.
So I'm done.
I am now surrounded by good, beautiful people who will not judge me for my lifestyle.
I have barely any negativity in my life anymore and I have never been better.

For people who are hateful enough to talk about people they don't know anymore, or people they have never known.
I am sorry.
I am sorry that you can't go a day without saying something rude about me or someone else.
The things you say about me don't hurt anymore.
I am sorry your not strong enough to come close and forgive.
I am sorry you are loosing friends.


I wish you could see yourself from my eyes.
I wish I could see me from yours.

I wish you were nicer.
I wish you weren't so caught up.







equals ambiguity.

Posted on 2008.09.12 at 15:31
Everything has an opposite.
Everyone has someone on the complete other side of the scale.
Without our difference.
The two objects, or two people, or two any thing's.
Would lessen in value.
It takes different sides  to show the true worth of another.

With rain, we appreciate the sun.
With the sun we appreciate the rain.
Love, and appreciation.
For the vast amounts difference.
Don't disregard something just because you don't agree with it.
Embrace the diversity.
For making everything worth a little more
.



Fearing death, wastes life.

Posted on 2008.09.09 at 17:46
I AM IN LOVE WITH INFINITY.
SPACE.
THE STARS.
THE GALAXIES.
THE UNKNOWN.


I don't know how many more minutes, hours, days, or years that I will live.
but the unknown tells me, even after death.
I will remain.
And exist, metaphysically, metaphorically, it doesn't matter.
I will exist in memory and thought.
I have imprinted this world, with the first breath I ever made.
we all have.




somebody that I used to know

Posted on 2008.08.28 at 21:02
This
is
the
lowest
I
have
felt
in
a
long
time
.


MAAAAAAAAANIC.
I hate these ones.
its not even up.
its so down.
so down in the blue.
that I cant even move.
the decisions I make now effect my entire future.
I have never been so
god
damned
low.

Contempt of a generation.

Posted on 2008.08.28 at 18:27
Current Mood: worriedworried
On the bus ride home today I was thinking
about how exciting it will be
when fall turns all the leaves vibrant colors.
And how cold weather will feel so good on my skin.
I started trailing of into a thought about generations of leaves as well.
Every spring the trees give life to new buds.
The amount of leaves that have come and gone and will come and go.
Is eternal and infinite.
Because there's always someone who will remember last years.
And someone who is waiting to see the new ones.


We are leaves.
that keep growing, than falling and decomposing into earth.
Its all the same.
Everything is just a cycle.
Its only the fact that time is passing
that can make your life original.
something to be remembered.
that can never happen again.

your leaf will never fall again.
this moment is real and now.
sink into it.
and keep remembering.

An ugly fact of life

Posted on 2008.08.22 at 20:38
I'm not going to lie.
I am petrified for the future.
Even if it will be better than my past.
I'm afraid of my past too.
I'm afraid of right now, whats happening to me right now.
I'm not even afraid of dying.
So I guess it's logical to say im afraid to live.
So so so deeply frightened.
I am resorted to a shivering little girl whenever anyone brings up time.
Its ticking.
Its not existent
it takes a toll
it heals
it hurts
it goes fast
it goes slow
it can pause
it can rewind
it can fast forward
it has control
over my body, my mind, and everything in between.
I am frozen.


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